How to Write an Eulogy

Beginning

Begin by acknowledging the occasion with humility, warmth, and sincerity

f you speak honestly it doesn’t matter if you stumble cry or hesitate, the truth is all that is heard. It is normal to show emotion, give yourself permission to be how you feel.

Say how you feel as you begin, everyone can see anyway whether you think they can or can’t! just acknowledge it and be honest to those present.

  • I am over whelmed but I am determined to do this

  • I may cry…

  • Forgive me if I do not finish Name will take over

  • We gather here today not to say goodbye, but to celebrate a life well-lived.

Structure of the Eulogy

Chronological - The story of birth to death is a comforting natural and traditional

Use a theme such as their kindness with a story from childhood, then as a teenager then on through life

Speak about those they loved and how they showed or hid that love. (The phrase difficult is useful in eulogies!)

Use pets lives as signposts through a life. Dont forget to mention pets ,gardens or cars! that were loved by the deceased.

Use an external calendar such as (Politics, GAA, Horse racing, TV contests such as BigBrother or love island) the football league eg in 1981 his beloved Liverpool won the FA Cup and he was married. In 1990 Liverpool' lost the cup but he gained a son.

Speak to the whole room.

Divide the room into groups outside of the immediate family - eg work friends, sport people, school friends and give them an acknowledgement or reference during the eulogy. Be careful about names as those not included can be hurt so if a particular person is mentioned say why them. Use a story, or sentence with someone you want to include rather than just their name.

Speak from the Heart & Share Personal Stories

The heart of a eulogy lies in storytelling. Share memories that capture the essence of the person—whether it’s their kindness, sense of humor, wit, wisdom, or stubbornness.

Guiding Questions for Stories:

  • Did they have a signature saying, joke, or catchphrase?

  • How did they impact family, friends, and community?

  • Did they love a good pint, a song, or a particular chocolate bar

  • What was their favorite story about themselves?

  • What team did they support, did they win/lose recently

  • Did they have a favorite TV show - you may like to use the theme song in the service too

Use Humor

Only use humor when you are at least a third the way through. The audience are not comfortable with your candor and manner enough to feel relaxed enough to laugh yet.

Never use bad language circumventing the use of bad language plays as a joke too. Bad language upsets the tone of the service.

References to sporting local rivalries are well situated in any Eulogy

Make a joke at your own expense not someone else.

  • “If there’s a heaven, I’m sure [Name] is already organizing it”

  • “He had the patience of a saint… except when it came to slow drivers and politicians.”

Closing

Express gratitude for knowing the deceased.

As you close, thank the deceased for their love, lessons, and presence in your life.

Thank those presence for giving you space to speak.

and/or say goodbye to the deceased

Final Farewell (Traditional Closing):

“Slán go fóill, mo chara.” (Goodbye for now, my friend.)

Delivery

  • Aim for 5 minutes or less (roughly 500-700 words).

  • Speak naturally—Modern eulogies are often conversational and heartfelt, rather than overly formal.

  • Practice reading it aloud to ensure a steady pace and natural delivery.

  • You can do this, no one finds it easy, the harder you find it the more your sincerity will shine through.

  • Give yourself permission to fail, cry or hand over to someone else mid eulogy.

  • Remember those present are there for a reason and its usually because of love. This is a safe place to speak in.